I remember being pregnant with Tayler like it was yesterday. I was one of those women who loved being pregnant….or did I?
Looking back, I don’t actually know if I loved it as much as I thought I did, but rather it was SO MUCH EASIER than it is this time around. Growing a life inside of you while taking care of another child is beyond anything you can even imagine and unless you’ve experience it yourself it’s almost impossible to explain. But I’m going to try… Below I’m breaking down the why’s and how I’ve handled them.
it’s not as special
The first time around, everyone and their mother (literally) is so excited for you. You almost feel like a celebrity, with everyone asking how you’re feeling, what names you have picked out, if you want a boy or a girl, etc. Your family dotes on you, especially your husband and you feel like you’re the most special girl in the world. The second time, it’s almost as if people don’t think you deserve the same credit because you’ve done this before. It should be easy since you know what to expect. YA RIGHT.
you’re f-ing exhausted
One of the reasons I think being pregnant the first time was so great and quite frankly, easy, was because I didn’t have another human to look after. When I got home from work, I would immediately plop myself in front of the TV with a pint of ice cream and lay there for as long as I wanted. Now, when I’m tried, I have a mini- me in the background asking for snacks, to use the restroom, wanting me to give them my undivided attention. It almost never stops so the exhaustion is no joke! Not to mention, sleeping in is non-existent. Luckily, I have a good sleeper on my hands, but 7:30 still seems soooo early when someone is immediately demanding all your attention.
your body reacts differently
While I don't feel as if my belly is bigger this time around (that’s a common theme you hear about when being pregnant for the second time), I do feel as if my body took to the pregnancy a lot differently than the first time (and not in a flattering way). I felt so beautiful the first time and this time around I just feel like a blob. I’m still learning to be okay with the changes in my body and stay as healthy as possible.
the bond with your partner changes
When Wes and I first found out we were having a baby, it was the most incredible bonding experience for us. Talking about all the ways we were going to raise our little human and how excited we were to start a family of our own. We could take all the date nights and weekend trips away just the two of us before baby came to really give us a chance to enjoy each other before our world was about to be rocked. Now, we are lucky if we sneak in a date night once a month! Going out of town for the weekend seems like more trouble than its worth or we would rather just bring Tayler with us because she is so fun and the perfect addition to our unit. But finding time for just the two of us is still so important and takes a lot more planning and practice (we are still working on that).
you don’t have time to enjoy it
Before, it was so easy to enjoy every minute of the pregnancy and relish in every kick or heart flutter. This time around, I find myself counting down the days until this little girl is born. I was really hoping I’d get pregnant around the same time as I did with Tayler so that the baby was born in the beginning of Summer, but as luck would have it I’m not due until the end of September which means my worst nightmare as come true. I have to be pregnant all summer. That means no endless amount of rosé or cute outfits and hello candles & discomfort. I’m only 22 weeks and I’m already so over being pregnant.
you aren’t yourself
Because you are so busy attending to everyone else in your life it’s really hard to stay in touch with yourself. I’ve felt so out of sorts this time around, really missing my body and the clothes in which I’ve identified myself with. I’m also so unmotivated when it comes to work and house chores because I feel like everything can wait. Along with that, comes some serious guilt for not being more productive, but hey, no one said growing a human was easy! Some days are better than others, but I’m going to say it. I miss my skinny jeans, damnit!
OKAY, I realize I sound like a serious “negative nancy” but you know I like to keep it real. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if this pregnancy has been awful (although the morning sickness was way worse). I have really tried to be in the moment and enjoy it as much as I can because I realize how lucky I am for having a relativity uneventful pregnancy. Plus, I may never do it again. For some reason, I feel like i want three kids, but after this pregnancy I’m not really sure I can do it again (plus the hubs is pretty rock solid on just having two). Ether way, I’m not ruling it out or saying its going to happen because I really just want to enjoy us being a family of 4.